Dear Prick Who Hacked My Gmail and Facebook Accounts,
Wow, I’m impressed. I don’t know how you did it, but that was very clever the way you hacked into my Facebook and Gmail accounts yesterday. One account would have been an accomplishment, but to hack both was really good work and showed excellent initiative and resourcefulness.
I was very disappointed, however, in the poor quality of your writing. Let’s take a look at the e-mail you sent all my contacts, shall we?
Sorry i didn’t inform you about our traveling, we presently in London UK stranded.Got Mugged last night at a gun point all cash, credit card,cell phone and valuable things where stolen away from us during the Robbery I will like you to assist us with a soft loan urgently with the sum of $1500.we need to sort out the hotel bills and get ourselves back home. we will appreciate whatever you can afford, i promise to pay back as soon as i return, Please let me know if you can help…
I don’t even know where to begin – bad grammar, poor spelling, and an unbelievable back story. You didn’t even try to mimick my personal writing style – would it have been so hard to include a couple of lame attempts at humour, a dash separating sentences, or perhaps “…” at the end of a paragraph? Oh wait, you did put the “…” at the end of the paragraph. Perhaps you are more cunning than I thought…
You should know that it has been a hassle getting my Gmail and Facebook accounts returned to me. I’m also a little pissed off that I have to change my password now – I’ve been using HotGuy69 since 2001, and now I’ve got to come up with something completely different. Not cool, bro.
But you know what the worst thing is? Not a single one of my friends and family members responded with an offer to help. For all they know, I was penniless in the U.K., alone and scared, and nobody said “Sure, I’ll loan you $1,500, man”. My wife didn’t even offer to help, and that’s what stings the most.
I know, that’s my problem, not yours. Didn’t mean to burden you with my personal issues. Best of luck in your future endeavours, Prick.