Things I Hate 3

Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, suffering leads to Dark Side.

Yoda was full of crap. The “Things I Hate” post last week was incredibly cathartic – it felt so great to give into the dark side and release my pent up anger. I felt stronger, more powerful – it was almost as if there was electricity crackling from my fingertips.

I’m in need of another hit, so here’s a special media edition of “Things I Hate”.

I hate it when journalists use a cold snap as evidence that global warming isn’t real. Every time the temperature drops below -20, some smart ass will write an opinion piece that states, “Those crazy tree huggers would have you believe our planet is getting warmer, but have you stepped outside today? It’s freezing out there. This is irrefutable proof that the world is not getting warmer – if anything, it’s getting colder. Global warming is simply another left wing conspiracy, along with evolution and taxes for the wealthy”. These are usually the same journalists who named Sarah Palin their “Fearless Leader of the Year”.

I hate it when journalists, typically mothers over the age of 40, write a column about Facebook. It’s usually along the lines of “I recently discovered a website called Facebook. Have you seen this thing? It’s so confusing. For example, I have a friend request from a girl who tortured me 30 years ago in high school – will she be offended if I don’t accept? And my daughter doesn’t want to be my friend – what should I do?” It’s pathetic that valuable newspaper space is devoted to this kind of clichéd writing.

I also hate it when journalists are lazy and use Facebook as a way of measuring public support for an issue. For example, they’ll write “A Facebook group calling for a ban on Paul Blart: Mall Cop sequels has already attracted more than 2,000 members”. It’s completely useless information that is somehow sold as real journalism. I can only imagine they’re taking direction from editors who think frequent Facebook references will give their publication a youthful vibe.

I can feel your anger. It gives you focus, makes you stronger.

Amen, Mr. Palpatine.

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