Monthly Archives: June 2008

Jun 29 2008

Little Kid, Big Plans

Wednesday was A’s last day of Junior Kindergarten. For the next 68 days, he’s a little man of leisure. It’s been a little daunting trying to figure out a daycare plan for him – we’ve settled on a patchwork of vacation time, visits with various relatives, and two different day camps.

His afternoon teacher sent home a nice yearbook with pictures taken throughout the year. The last section also had individual profiles of each student. Along with their name and age, each picture had a caption that reads “When I Grow Up”. The answers are pretty typical for 5-year olds – a lot of police officers, firemen, and race car drivers.

B and I were a little stunned and amused at A’s caption, though, which read:

“When I grow up, I want to be a security guard / metal scanner at the airport”.

This came as a complete surprise to us. He talks about being a pilot, a Jedi, an explorer, but we had no idea he was considering a career with the Canada Air Transport Safety Authority. It’s nice to know that he values keeping the airlines safe from nail clippers and shampoo bottles above all else.

We wanted to find out more about his thoughts on this job, so we conducted a little interview.

So there you have it – either an airport security screener or a pilot. Given the poor business outlook for airlines, he’ll probably have to reconsider his options at some point.  Perhaps he’ll be influenced by his classmate Scott, who said “When I grow up, I want to work for the Government of Canada”. Poor kid…

Jun 25 2008

Where the Hell is Matt?

Given that this video has been viewed nearly 10 million times on Youtube, I may be the only person around who hasn’t seen this yet. I found it strangely compelling – about two minutes in, I started thinking “Hell yeah, I want to do this, too”.

It got me thinking about the difference between the material and the experiential. For most of my life, I’ve leaned towards the material. It was important to have a house, a car, a marimba, a computer, etc. I saved money with the goal of buying something tangible and adding it to my inventory of stuff.

Perhaps now that I’m approaching middle age, I’m starting to lean more towards the experiential. When it’s time to shuffle off this mortal coil, the accumulation of experiences will be valued far more than the boxes of stuff in my basement.

Jun 24 2008

Open Letter to a Thief

Dear Thieving Bastard,

A few days ago, you went to a bank machine in St. Laurent, Quebec and withdrew $500 from my personal chequing account. I suppose you think you’re a big man, getting free money through such nefarious means, but I don’t think you’ve given much thought to the impact of your actions.

The theft hurt me a little bit. It was a pain in the ass calling the bank to report the theft, and I had to spend some time walking to the branch to get a new card. The bank has completed its investigation and put the money back in my account, so I haven’t really suffered that much.

You should feel sorry for the bank. This poor institution recently reported flat second quarter results, with a modest profit of only $879 million. Your actions will have a direct negative impact on shareholders, who are already questioning the security of their investments. Times are tough enough as it is for financial institutions – they don’t need guys like you undermining their confidence even more.

No, the person you’re really cheating is yourself. You obviously have a good head on your shoulders – you managed to forge a bank card and bypass the bank’s sophisticated security system, which is pretty impressive. Wouldn’t you feel better about yourself if you used your skills for good instead of evil? Why not try volunteering at a non-profit to set up a wireless network for their office? The satisfaction you’ll get in helping others will far outweigh any enjoyment you’ll get from spending your ill-gotten gains on fine cars and exotic vacations.

So do the right thing – return the $500 to the bank along with a hand-written apology. They’re nice people, and I’m sure all will be forgiven. If not, I will see to it personally that you are brought to justice.

Sincerely,

The Dearlove

Jun 19 2008

Dinner at Beckta

When I left the orchestra last year, the musicians graciously provided me with a gift certificate to Beckta, one of Ottawa’s leading restaurants. Given my well-documented fondness for procrastination and delayed gratification, it should come as no surprise that it took me eleven months to finally make a dinner reservation.

I was incredibly excited about Beckta, and also a little nervous. I’ve heard nothing but raves about the place over the past few years, and people urged me to do the five-course tasting menu with the wine pairing. While I aspire to be a foodie and indulge in fearless eating, I did worry that some of the courses would be a little adventurous for me (i.e. braised pig’s feet).

In any event, B and I did the brave thing and put our evening in the capable hands of chef Michael Moffatt. We weren’t disappointed – it was quite simply the finest meal I’ve ever had. I even committed the entire meal to memory, just for all you actual foodies who might be interested in such things.

Amuse
A spoonful of braised oxtail with apricot and olive tapenade

First Course
Alaskan wild sockeye salmon sashimi style, with grilled asparagus, goat cheese, pine nuts, and sweet lemon cucumber sorbet
Riesling “Off Dry” Cattail Creek, VQA Niagara 2006

Second Course
Fried BC spot prawn, ricotta-ramp-shrimp agnelotti, lobster consommé with chili oil
Chardonnay, Parducci, Mendocino 2006

Third Course
Pork belly confit, wilted sorrel, mushroom and spring pea ragout, sweet sherry reduction
Gamay Noir “Estate” 13th Street, VQA Four Mile Creek 2006

Intermezzo
Pomegranate-orange sorbet with elderflower water

Fourth Course
Alberta beef tenderloin, roasted sunchokes, spring onion and rhubarb sauté, fava beans, Asian BBQ sauce
Shiraz “Omrah” Plantagenet, Margaret River 2004

Dessert
Bittersweet chocolate tart with walnut paté sucrée and maple meringue, white chocolate and roasted walnut ice cream, maple rum sauce
Banyuls “Cirera” Domaine Madeloc 2005

Amuse
Strawberry blondie with mango coconut purée

Yes, that’s a lot of food (and a lot of wine). The pork belly was a meal in itself. The pork had been braised, cured, and smoked before being prepared confit-style. It was rich, decadent, and had a strong pig flavour. While I probably wouldn’t order it as a main course, I would gladly eat it if it was served to me again.

It was my first experience with a tasting menu, and I loved it. There was this mix of excitement and trepidation every time a dish arrived, and I appreciated having a knowledgeable sommelier choosing wines that paired well with each course.  I also can’t say enough about the service – the whole staff is extremely professional and attentive.

Four hours and $300 later, we staggered out of the restaurant and grabbed a cab home. It’s a lot of money to spend on dinner, but then I started thinking about all the times we’ve dropped $50 or $60 for a crappy meal at a chain restaurant. I would gladly give up five of those mediocre experiences for one amazing experience. Sorry, Montana’s – I’m going upscale.

PS If you’re a foodie and want to read more comprehensive descriptions of Beckta’s tasting menus, you can check out Craig’s posts at mydinnertable.com – just click here and here.

Jun 17 2008

I Ain’t Mike Myers

Upon meeting me for the first time, roughly 20% of people will begin the conversation with “Has anyone ever told you…”, and I finish their sentence with “…that I look like Mike Myers? Yes, it’s been mentioned a few times.”

In fact, I’ve probably heard it hundreds of times over the past decade. With a new Mike Myers film coming out this weekend, the frequency has increased substantially in recent days. I heard a woman at the pool whisper it to her husband as I walked by. I’m greeted with comments like “Hey Mike, I saw you on Letterman last night”, or “Hey Dr. Evil, where’s Mini-me?” Some kids in a Scarborough food court did ask me if I was Mike one time, but I dashed their hopes of a celebrity sighting with a curt “bugger off”.

It’s not that I don’t like Mike – I think he’s a pretty funny guy. He’s not exactly handsome, though, you know? In fact, he seems to take pleasure in appearing as unattractive as possible in many of his roles. Just take a look at some of his more memorable creations…

Not exactly the faces that cause a woman’s heart to flutter.

There have been a couple of times when I’ve had the opportunity to get first-hand confirmation about whether I’m actually Mike’s doppelganger. Burt Bacharach played the NAC a couple of times, but I didn’t think it was appropriate to accost him in his dressing room. Instead, I kind of lingered outside in the hallway, waiting for him to pass me and do a double-take. It never happened.

I was a little crestfallen when I saw the first trailer for The Love Guru. It looks like an awful movie, and I can only imagine that sometime soon I will be asked to put on a poor Hindu accent and recite a catch-phrase from the film.

I have this dream that one day, someone will say “Hey, didn’t I see you accepting the Academy Award for Best Actor in a Leading Role on TV last night?”, and I can proudly say, “No, that was my celebrity look-alike, the funny and talented Mike Myers”. It’s time to step your game up, Mike – we’re not getting any younger.

Quiz: Is the photo below me or Mike Myers? The first correct answer will receive a well-worn copy of So I Married an Axe Murderer on VHS.