I Hate Math

I’m not a big fan of math these days. The more I think about it, the more I think we’d all be better off without the whole numbers thing – they’re nothing but trouble.

For example, math tells me my oldest son will turn 6 in 5 days. In 3 years he will be 9, which is half of 18, which is how old he’ll be when he’ll abandon us and leave for university, an event that I have already started to worry about.

Math also tells me that my dad lived for a total of 20,500 days. Today is my 13,417th day on Earth. If I live as long as he did, I have already lived 65.4% of my life, or nearly 2/3’s. That scary fraction pops into my head a lot these days.

I’ve been without my dad for 21.4% of my life, a figure that will grow steadily larger until October 3, 2029, when the balance will tip and I’ll have lived longer without him than with him.

The more I think about it, the more I believe we’d be better off in a world without numbers.

No more salaries, budgets, bills, deficits.

No wind chills, won-loss records, standardized test scores.

No telephones, calendars, watches, wake-up calls, meeting times.

No more fixating on your weight, blood pressure, cholesterol levels, pant sizes or counting calories.

Let’s abandon precision in favour of approximation.

The numberless revolution begins in 7 days. I mean, sometime in the near future.

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