Dearlove.ca

K:  Daddy, when I was three years old, I thought one plus one equalled onety-one.

Me:  Hmmm.  Now that you’re four years old, what does one plus one equal?

K:  Eleven.

I thought I’d jump on the end-of-year bandwagon and share a few of my favourite artists and songs from the past year.  There were a lot of highlights, both from my own festival and others that I attended, but I’ve chosen a handful that I keep coming back to.  I was reminded this year that there’s no substitute for a live performance, and that there are lots of really talented musicians out there who tour the country in vans more for love than money.

I became fans of a lot of the bands that played at BC Scene, but I fell hardest for Mother Mother. After missing their show at the Blacksheep during the festival, I made sure to catch them a couple of weeks ago when they opened for Matt Good at the NAC.

We’ve been playing “Hayloft” pretty regularly in the car. K thinks the line “Young lovers with their legs tied up in knots” is hilarious. As long as he doesn’t go around singing it in his Junior Kindergarten class then we should be O.K.

I’ve been playing Metric’s “Help I’m Alive” almost non-stop for the past month. It’s a song that really should be played at maximum volume – the snare just has to have that crack to it. The video / short film by Winnipeg artist Deco Dawson is perfect.

Vancouver’s Dan Mangan has had a very good year. He released Nice, Nice, Very Nice to great acclaim in August, was named the XM Verge Award Artist of the Year, and was all over CBC Radio 3’s Bucky Awards. He’s also a genuinely nice guy.

His solo set with Danny Michel in April was one of my favourite moments of the festival. It made me want to give everything up and become a singer-songwriter, until I remembered I can’t sing, play guitar, or write songs. I’ll just have to live vicariously through him.

I caught Hey Rosetta! at the Winnipeg Folk Festival in July and immediately bought their first two albums. The talented sextet from St. John’s can rock out with the best of them, then change directions entirely for a piano and strings ballad. In the wrong hands this could get a bit gimmicky, but these guys make it work.

The track “We Made a Pact” is one of my favourites from Into Your Lungs – the harmonies at 2:20 get me every time.

Finally, you should check out Grand Analog.  It’s hip hop with elements of R & B / jazz / reggae / rock.  The track “Electric City” featuring Shad even gets a square guy like me to dance.  A little.

I was digging through the past recently and came across some of my old school photos.  It’s interesting to look compare the five and six year old me to the boys and see what features I did (and didn’t) pass on. 

Kindergarten, circa 1977. Yes, that is a very big collar.

Grade 1. I think I really look like K in this photo.

Grade 2. This was probably the last time I wore a turtleneck.

Grade 3. 

Grade 4. Wow, those are giant front teeth.  Not sure who cut my bangs – must have been blind barber Billy.  And yes, those are genuine mother-of-pearl buttons.

It was all downhill from here.  By Grade 4, I was wearing glasses pretty much all the time.  The addition of braces and acne in later years would make school photo day a stressful event, and I refused to submit the order forms my mom filled out.  Ah, teenage angst.

I know, you’ve been worrying about what to get me for Christmas, and with just a few days left until the blessed event, the stress is becoming unbearable. Relax – I’m here to help.

I am one of the millions of people who love the edges of brownies. I’d much rather have a piece from the edge of the pan than the center – corner pieces are obviously the best. Of course, there are only four corner pieces in the standard 8″ by 8″ pan, which simply cannot satisfy my insatiable appetite.

Fortunately, some brilliant people have invented the ultimate brownie pan. I give you… the Baker’s Edge Brownie Pan.
By my count, that’s 10 corner pieces, plus every other piece has at least one crunchy, chocolatey edge. This is nothing short of miraculous, and I would gladly welcome one into my home.

Wait – there’s more. If you like lasagna, but you do your best to avoid the soggy pieces in the middle, then you need the Baker’s Edge Simple Lasagna pan. Enjoy, edge lovers.

This past summer, I was driving down the highway listening to Q, and Jian opening the show by saying “With just a few months left in this decade…”. I nearly slammed on the brakes, perhaps in some subconscious way thinking that by slowing down the car, I could also slow down the passage of time.

It took a few minutes for this fact to sink in, and I gradually accepted what should have been obvious – yet another decade is drawing to a close. [ed. Yes, I know the next decade will actually start on January 1, 2011. However, only mathematically-obsessed social misfits feel the need to point this out at every opportunity. Please leave the rest of us simple-minded folk alone.]

So, as the media dissect the past ten years in excruciating detail (Top 17 Celebrity Couple Break-Ups of the Decade!), we take a look back at the…what the hell are we calling this decade? The oughts? The double-O’s? How did we get this far and not agree on a name?

In just a few days, I will enter my fifth decade. I’m still not sure how that’s possible, seeing as how I’m only 37. To be honest, I’m not that excited by the prospect, as I fail to see how the next decade can possibly compare to the first four:

1970s
Birth
First tooth
Learned to crawl
Learned to walk
Birth of brother
First day of Kindergarten
Endless days of leisure

1980s
First girlfriend
First kiss
First drum lesson
Puberty
First trip to Europe
First day of high school
Learned to drive (not well)
Attended first rock concert

1990s
First time getting drunk
Graduated from high school
Moved away from home
Threw a hand grenade
Met my future wife
Graduated from two universities
First real job

2000s
Got engaged
Got married
Bought our first house
Birth of our first son
Birth of our second son

The bar’s been set pretty high, and I don’t see how the next decade can possibly measure up. By the end of it, I’ll be old and worn down, with noticeably less hair and significantly more fat. Oceans will rise, and oil will disappear. Sarah Palin will be finishing off her second term as President of the United States of America, and fifty cents of every dollar I make will be taken away to cover the healthcare and pension costs for baby boomers. And that’s an optimistic forecast.

Have a happy new year, everybody!

We were sitting down for dinner earlier this week and I asked the boys what they wanted for Christmas. A said “I want a Blackberry”. K said “I want an iPod”. Where did my little boys and their Thomas train sets go?

At the tender age of six, A has become addicted to my Blackberry. It began innocently enough with a few games of Brickbreaker, and over the past few weeks it has grown into a full-fledged obsession.

The other day he said “Dad, can you please pass me my Blackberry?” At breakfast yesterday morning, he took the front section of the newspaper and pored over the full-page Telus ad of smartphones. He said “Blackberry Bold – that’s the one Dew has. What’s the Blackberry Storm all about? That one’s $249 – do I have that much in my piggy bank?”

What is surprising is how adept he’s become at using my phone. He was on level 12 with four lives left the other day on Brickbreaker. He has been recording voice notes, making videos, and playing music from the media player (I didn’t show him how to do any of that).

Last weekend, the boys took the Blackberry downstairs without me knowing and took 124 pictures of the living room. Even better, he took pictures of K lying spread eagle in the bathtub. It’s hard to explain to your son why putting pictures of naked boys on daddy’s Blackberry is a very very bad thing.

Some of the photos show real promise, though. Here’s a sample of their work (minus the nudes, obviously). If there’s sufficient interest, I may curate a multi-media exhibition of their work at a local artist-run centre. Stay tuned.

Still Life – Remote, 2009

Weathered Dog Bank, 2009

Excerpt from Arthur, 2009

Mugging for the Camera I, 2009

Mugging for the Camera II, 2009

When I finally take my place as lord and master of this fair country, my first order of business will be a series of measures designed to eliminate the horrifying exploitation of Christmas currently on display. The Repatriation of Christmas Act will include, but not be limited to, the following:

1. There shall be no Christmas or similarly-themed decorations permitted in public spaces until December 1st. This includes oversized ornaments, ribbons, lights, trees, snowflakes, and the construction of Santa’s Workshop. Particular attention will be paid to the Hudson’s Bay Company, which insists on subjecting its patrons to a “Christmas Village” on or about October 8th. Shameful.

2. Likewise, the playing of Christmas carols or secular holiday songs cannot commence until December 1st. The playing of such music shall be limited to no more than 45 minutes per hour to ensure both customers and employees have an adequate recovery period before the next barrage.

3. The use of Christmas-themed cups by retailers such as Tim Hortons and Starbucks will be prohibited until December 1st. This embargo shall also include holiday-themed drinks such as the Gingerbread Latté and Eggnog Frappuccino.

4. Santa Claus parades will commence on the first weekend of December. Parades scheduled for warm sunny days in mid-November will be immediately ordered to disband and organizers will be required to undergo a psychiatric evaluation.

5. Office Christmas parties will not be permitted during the month of November – that’s just wrong. Nor may they be scheduled in January, which is both wrong and stupid. December shall be the only permissible month for such festive gatherings.

6. Only the word “Christmas” can be used in printed materials. “Xmas” is not a word and shall not be used under any circumstance. Violators will be forced to write the word “Christ” on the blackboard no fewer than 1,000 times.

I appreciate that the birth of the baby Jesus is cause for considerable celebration. I can’t help but think that some people may be exploiting the joyful occasion, turning what should be a time of personal and family renewal into a prolonged orgy of consumption.

I’m no Grinch or Scrooge – I just think 60 days is way too long to sustain the Christmas spirit. Even December 1st feels early to me, but that happens to be the day that Advent calendars start, and God knows I love them little hidden chocolate squares.

If you there are additional measures you would like included in the Repatriation of Christmas Act, please let me know and I shall consider them in due course.