With election day in the U.S. just days away, I thought it was time to formally announce the official endorsement. This has been a tight race between two electrifying candidates, and after careful consideration, I and my team of pundits and political analysts have finally made a decision.

Now, I know the Democratic Party’s candidate, Mr. Barack Obama, has a great deal of support. He is a charismatic young man with bold ideas and a silver tongue. However, I have become increasingly uneasy with his short-sighted tax plan. I simply cannot support a man who would steal from the rich to pay the poor, especially at a time when the rich are hurting so much. If I wanted to live in a socialist state, I’d move to Canada.

Under Mr. McCain’s plan, the nation’s wealthiest people would be rewarded for their hard work and fortunate birth parents by paying less tax. This would enable the rich to do what they do best – spending ridiculous amounts of money on luxury goods, which plays right into the trickle-down theory of economics.

For example, the Wall Street tycoon could buy another Picasso at auction from Sotheby’s, which directly helps Ohio’s struggling art auction industry. An Upper East Side mom could buy a new diamond tennis bracelet at Tiffany & Co., which would be a big boost for Michigan’s beleaguered luxury jewelry makers. Other sectors that could benefit include Indiana’s mink coat designers, North Carolina’s Fabergé Egg creators, and Missouri’s exotic Italian sports car manufacturers. The benefits are endless.

Let’s not forget about the Vice Presidential candidates. I’m sure Mr. Biden is a fine and competent man, but there’s no drama in waiting for him to serve as President in the case of emergency. On the other hand, wouldn’t it be awesome to spend the next four years waiting in anticipation for Sarah Palin to be thrown into the thick of things as President?

So, is officially endorsing John McCain for President of the United States of America. I proudly join a long list of formidable McCain endorsers, including Senator Saxby Chambliss, the Bakersfield Californian, the Mountain Valley News, Erik Estrada, and Lorenzo Lamas. With backing like that, he’s got the election in the bag.

One thought on “ Endorses…

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