I’ve written about this before, but what the hell is up with retailers these days? Maybe it’s just me, but stores seem to be using different calendars than the rest of us.

First it was the “End of Summer Sale” at American Eagle on July 5th. Is it too much to ask to be able to buy a pair of shorts in August instead of down-filled jackets? The next day, I saw the first “Back to School” ad, a vicious and and insensitive reminder to our youth of the fleeting nature of summer vacation. On July 31st, I saw Christmas trees on sale at Costco. I was going to get one, but they only came in packs of six…

The kicker for me was on August 22nd, when I noticed a whole wall of Halloween costumes on sale at The Children’s Place. I simply can’t imagine there are parents out there who were all geared up to get little Johnny the cutest little pony costume 70 days early. It’s not like they’re limited edition outfits, people – they’ve got warehouses full of that crap, and it’ll be half price in six weeks.

This madness isn’t limited just to retailers. The Weinstein Company produced Rob Zombie’s latest blood-soaked offering Halloween. Back in the good old days, a movie with the title Halloween would have been released, oh, I don’t know, maybe sometime around October 31st. Instead, in what I thought was a stupid move, the Weinsteins opened the movie on August 31st (of course, it made $26 million US in its first week, so what the hell do I know).

I guess you can’t argue with progress – the public has spoken, and obviously we all want to have months and months to agonize over what to buy. If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll head out and stock up on my Valentine’s Day cards.