The Great Fabric Shortage

Over the last few years, I have noticed a disturbing trend. Clothes seem to be getting smaller, resulting in a much higher incidence of exposed flesh. Parts of the body that used to be revealed only to doctors and spouses are now on display for all to see.I can only conclude that we are facing a severe fabric shortage. It makes sense that as the world’s population continues to increase, the amount of material available for each individual decreases. Look back at the 1800’s, when there were far less people around. Women wore long skirts, stockings, blouses, jackets, crinolines, etc. all the time. They flaunted their access to cheap, plentiful wools and cottons by donning layer upon layer, even in the height of summer.Today, we are confronted with mini-skirts, short shorts, tank tops, crop tops, and thongs. This shrinking wardrobe seems to be especially prevalent among young females. I guess their parents have spent so much money on big houses, fast cars, flat-screen televisions and the other necessities of 21st century life that they cannot afford clothing that offers full coverage.This problem even seems to affect the well-to-do. I often encounter girls from private schools who are forced to wear tiny kilts that are hardly larger than thick belts. I assume they received their kilts in grade 4 and have had to make do with them all the way through high school. Even young Britney cannot afford a decent pair of knickers, and if she can’t, what chance do the rest of us working-class folk have?So, we must find new alternatives before we completely run out of our natural and synthetic fibres. I urge scientists and fashionistas to join forces to ensure our children’s children can cover up the naughty bits, and hopefully just a little bit more.

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