There are a lot of cool things about my part of town. It’s just a five minute walk down to the RCMP stables, where the boys can go visit the horses after dinner. We can walk over to the Canadian Aviation Museum to explore the collection and watch planes take off. There are a number of paths that offer easy access to the Ottawa River, and the nearby Rockcliffe Parkway is closed on Sunday mornings for family bike outings.

I like walking down to Manor Park Grocery, where Nick has manned the counter for 40 years. The Dairy Queen turns 50 this year, and you can usually run into someone you know while waiting for a cookie dough blizzard. The strip mall around the corner has changed – the adult video store and the bingo hall moved out, and The Works and a children’s consignment store moved in. Whether that’s an improvement is a matter of personal opinion.

But do you know what this idyllic neighbourhood really needs?  

Trucks.  Thousands and thousands of big, loud, carbon monoxide-spewing 18-wheelers.  The city wants to build a four-lane bridge and highway on the edge of Manor Park that would become the new truck route for goods traveling between Ontario and Quebec. According to the experts, who looked at about ten sites along the river, Kettle Island and our neighbourhood is the best place to build it. In fact, it’s the only location now being considered.

While the highway would literally run through our backyard, my disbelief about the proposal is not a “Not in My Backyard” reaction. I just don’t understand how 1,800 trucks a day fit into our urban environment. I don’t understand why citizens should have to sacrifice the best aspects of our community – cultural institutions, parks, wetlands – when other, less-destructive options are available. As one urban planning expert said, “This is almost the least appropriate place to take a major vehicle thoroughfare through the urban fabric”.

I recognize Ottawa has a major transportation issue. It’s insane that huge trucks have to navigate our downtown streets to get to the highway, and it’s a problem that has required a solution for decades. However, inflicting this problem on another community four kilometres down the street appears incredibly short-sighted and frankly, more than a little cruel.

So, the next phase of the process begins. The environmental assessments will take place over the next two years. Letters are being written, protests are being planned, and intense lobbying will take place. Perhaps a rare species of frog will be found in the wetland bordering the proposed corridor and the bridge will be shelved. Perhaps the politicians will remember that great cities put people first, not industry.

Or, perhaps I should have my realtor’s phone number on speed dial.

For more information on this issue, you can visit www.stopthebridge.org

1. Ottawa
2. Victoria
3. Fredericton
4. Kingston
5. Levis
6. Moncton
7. Winnipeg
8. Burlington
9. Halifax
10. Vancouver

Of course, these lists are always subject to a fair amount of criticism, especially if you happen to live in one of the cities that didn’t fair too well (hello Port Alberni at no. 154). As might be expected, MoneySense placed a lot of emphasis on financial considerations, such as average household income, average housing prices, and disposable income. They also considered other factors, such as weather, crime rate, and the availability of doctors.

What’s missing from the list of criteria are the intangibles, those elements that make a city great that can’t be quantified. The natural surroundings, architecture, city planning, and cultural community weren’t really factored into these rankings in any meaningful way, yet most people would probably consider these to be more important than the number of new cars on the road.

In any case, Ottawa won this particular competition, and we did so in a typically Ottawa fashion. We didn’t finish first in any category – in fact, our highest rank was 19. However, we were above average in almost every category, and that was enough for us to crush Victoria.

“It was to some degree a triumph of mediocrity, but it was consistent mediocrity”, said the editor of the magazine. Perhaps “Ottawa: Consistently Mediocre” could replace the previous city motto of “Ottawa: Technically Beautiful”. (I’m not making that up – that’s the motto the city came up with in 2001 after spending $200,000 on research).

Here are a few other notable cities:

16. Waterloo
35. Calgary
50. Kitchener
51. Toronto
58. Thunder Bay (my birthplace)
73. Cambridge (my hometown)
82. Montreal (?)
86. Hamilton

“There’s the feeling that we’re witnessing something special, a once-every-thirty-years kind of winter that people will talk about for years to come. Come on, Mother Nature, show us what ya got.”

Three months later, I’d like to apologize to the poor citizens of Ottawa for taunting Mother Nature – I completely underestimated her wrath.

This is a winter of mythic proportions. The city has almost become unrecognizable, with streets reduced to narrow canyons weaving between towering snowbanks. Driving has become a game of chicken, with head-on collisions narrowly avoided when one driver squeezes over to take refuge at the end of a driveway. Snow is the only topic in Ottawa (well, that and “What the hell happened to the Senators?”)

Now some of you may be thinking “hey, we’ve had snow, too”. No, you haven’t. Toronto? 190 cm. Waterloo? 246 cm. Montreal? 346 cm. Vancouver? Please.

After the 56 cm we received this past weekend, we’re at 410 cm, or almost 14 feet of snow. When I say I’ve never seen this much snow, it’s true – the record was set during the winter of 1970-71, just slightly before my time. We still have another foot to go to set the record, and I’m hoping it happens. Second place is for chumps, and I didn’t strain my back shoveling for the past few months just to finish behind some lame measurement from the Nixon era.

I’ve embraced the new Ottawa landscape. Our backyard, untouched for the past two months, has become an awesome playground, with trenches, tunnels, and forts of stunning size. As I played with the boys after dinner tonight, I was also struck by a sudden sadness. This wonderland is fleeting, and I don’t have long to enjoy it with Aidan and Kieran before it disappears, perhaps never to return.

So, Mother Nature, now that you’ve dumped all this on us, would it be too much to ask to let it stay around for a while? I’ve got a few more forts to build, a few more holes to dig, a few more muscles to pull from shoveling.

FYI, our snowbank isn’t quite this high. Luc Guertin from Orleans built this 16 foot monster by hand over the past couple of months.

For the second consecutive year, Zurich and Geneva finished first and second. I guess those cities are O.K. if you like spectacular scenery, great chocolate, discrete banks, and unwavering neutrality.

It’s hard to argue with Vancouver placing first among North American cities – everyone who lives there really is richer, smarter, cooler, and better looking than the rest of us.

But Toronto as number 2? You gotta be kidding me. This is a city that took its greatest natural asset (Lake Ontario) and made it virtually impossible for its residents to enjoy by erecting miles of condos along the shore. A city that combines insane real estate prices with rampant gridlock. A city that took Maple Leaf Gardens and turned it into a grocery store. Of course, it does trump Ottawa in strip joints and gang shootings, so I guess it depends on how you define “quality of life”.

So, while cities like Zurich, Dusseldorf and Copenhagen duke it out for world supremacy, I think the really interesting battles are going on at the bottom of the list. Baghdad finished last for the second year in a row, narrowly edging out Brazzaville, Banghui and Kartoum. Nice work George W., keep it up.

The windchill was pretty brutal, so we tried to distract the boys with roasted marshmallows and maple syrup on a stick. There are few things better than maple syrup drizzled on fresh snow and then wound around a stick (there are also few things that are more difficult to wipe off a child’s jacket). All in all, it was one of those quintessential Canadian experiences.

Yesterday we headed out to the Experimental Farm (aka Canadian Agricultural Museum). Again, it’s a hard place to describe – I guess you could say it’s an experimental…farm. Actually, the name Experimental Farm is a little odd. For me, it conjures up images of two-headed calves and rampant cross-breeding (chicken + turkey = turcken?)

Regardless of the mad scientist stuff happening behind the scenes, the farm in Spring is a great family outing. The boys loved seeing the little lambs, piglets, and calves and driving the tractor simulator. I think every major urban centre should have a big farm in the middle of it.

In fact, I think this may be the best weather I’ve ever seen for Winterlude. It’s been consistenly cold and sunny – most years there’s a least one warm, rainy weekend that turns the canal and ice sculptures to mush.

We’ve been out three times in the past week for various activities. The boys have enjoyed seeing the ice and snow sculptures and the ice slides, not to mention the obligatory Beavertails. Here are a few pics of our adventures.

K riding around in style.

The happy (and cold) family in front of one of the ice sculptures.

Daddy and K after a successful trip down the ice slide.

B and K during our horse-drawn sleigh ride.