Dear Mom and Dad,

Can I please have another cat?  I find that coal needs a friend, plus, cats are quiet and me and K could take care of his / her’s evry need.  The new cat could live in our room until he / she is old enough to rome around the house.  Cats are also housebroken, so you woudn’t have to worry about stepping in some you-know-what.  If we get it from the humain society, it would save that cats life!  Can I please have another cat?

Sincerely,

A

Seems like a pretty convincing argument.  We’ll see…

It was just four years ago that we received nearly 14 feet of snow.  Remember the guy who built a huge snow wall beside his driveway in Orleans?  Here’s a little reminder from March of 2008:

Not so this year.  Sure, we still have some snow on the ground (which people in Southern Ontario will find odd).  We also had temperatures in the mid-20s, which led to a memorable sight on Sunday afternoon.

Yes, that’s an honest-to-God water fight in the snow.  Take a few boys, add some bathing suits, rubber boots, water guns, and snow, and you have the makings of a memorable afternoon.  I think we’ll be talking about this for years to come.

K quickly forgot the cardinal rule of water fights – Don’t Get the Parents Wet.

Nothing makes a six-year-old boy happier than a loaded water gun.

I have vivid memories of one particular movie and recently spent some time trying to track down a copy. It was a short film called The Violin, and I remember my dad showing it to us using a school projector. We had a copy of the book that accompanied the movie, and I’m sure I read it dozens of times. The book has long since disappeared, and I hadn’t seen the movie in probably 25 years.It took a bit of searching, but I finally came across some information about The Violin. It turns out it was nominated for an Academy Award for Best Live Action Short Film back in 1974. The old man was played by Maurice Solway, who enjoyed a long career as a professional violinist and composer in Toronto.  Despite the pedigree, actual copies of the movie seem to be rare.

Perhaps it’s just nostalgia, but I find the movie incredibly moving. I identify with the two boys in the movie – with their blond hair, it’s not hard to picture them as me and my brother, or my own two boys (and in a funny coincidence, I share my first name with both of the young actors). It’s easy to recall the excitement of saving coins in a glass jar to buy a treasure you’ve seen in the store window (something I still do), or the disappointment you feel when it turns out the object of your desire is out of reach.

Most of all, I am touched by the relationship between the old man and the boys. I see him as a father figure, patient and generous with his time, passing on a love for music. The fact that he leaves at the end without really saying goodbye, and the image of him rowing away by himself as the two boys watch from the shore, hits close to home.

Maybe one day I’ll find a better copy of the movie, perhaps even an old film version that I can screen for my boys using an old school projector. In the meantime, this version will have to do.

Thanks to the wonders of YouTube and ultra slo-mo, I now have a vivid reninactment of what an owl attack might actually look like (if we were able to slow down time considerably).  Keep in mind that this is an Eagle Owl, which looks much bigger than the owl that came at me. 

It’s a little scary and also incredibly beautiful, especially from the 32-second mark on.  I strongly encourage you to watch it in its full 1080p HD glory for maximum effect.

That might be a little harsh. And inaccurate. Perhaps a better way to put it would be, “there are certain behaviours exhibited by members of the public when they attend performances that cause me anxiety and anguish”.

Off the top of my head, I can think of about eight things that audience members do that severely hinder my (and I assume others’) enjoyment of the concert. The next few posts will detail some of my pet-peeves.

Latecomers

It happens at every concert. At the end of the overture or the first movement, the doors to the hall swing open and a dozen people try to sneak to their seats. It’s not so bad if it happens during applause, but I find it excruciating when it’s between movements and the conductor has to cast little looks over his shoulder to see if it’s O.K. for the concert to continue.

At least in concerts there’s a natural break. Theatre and dance performances often don’t, and you must attempt to ignore the usher’s flashlight as the latecomers try to find their seats. I find it especially distracting when they’re down front – no amount of hunched-over tip-toeing is going to make you invisible to the 800 of us who are trying to enjoy the show.

I know things happen. The babysitter was late, the garage was full, it took forever to get your bill at the restaurant. You’re probably stressed out from trying to race to the theatre in time. I still don’t think you should try to make it to your seat in the middle of the row. I suggest you find a quiet spot at the back and wait for the intermission.

Once upon a time, I was at a concert where the soloist instructed the front-of-house staff not to let in any latecomers until the intermission. The first half was completely devoted to Vivaldi’s Four Seasons. So, if you were a couple of minutes late, you missed a memorable performance by a world-class violinist. Some might consider that unfair…but not me.

So imagine my surprise when I got the boys’ proofs and saw the biggest innovation in school photos in decades.  Let’s see if you notice it, too.

That’s right – it’s a new pose!  After years of close-up head-and-shoulders shots, they’ve introduced the casual hands-in-pocket standing pose.  I think it looks pretty cool, although their faces are tiny on wallet-sized photos.

I’m not sure I understand what’s going on with the background.  To me, it kind of looks like the boys about to be sucked into some kind of time portal or vortex, and the red / orange smears at the bottom look a little bit like flames.  A cynic might suggest it looks like the boys are posing in Hell – perhaps it’s a not-so-subtle suggestion that the boys should be baptized.

Don’t procrastinate

Fail.  For example, every day I come home and see the peeling paint on my front door.  It’s been on my to-do list for a couple of years.  I didn’t get around to it in 2011.  And that’s just the front door – you should see the rest of the house.

Call a friend at least once a week.

Fail.  I think I might have called a friend once a season (that’s four times, for my arithmetically-challenged readers).  For some reason I can’t seem to find 20 minutes a week to reach out and touch someone.

Write letters and cards.

Fail.  I recall sending one card in 2011 (not including the 250-ish Christmas cards I sent for work).  Definitely some room for improvement.

Try one new recipe a week.

Fail.  I think I averaged a recipe a month.  I can’t remember a single one that stood out and has become part of my regular rotation.  Sigh.

Read at least one book a month.

Close, but still a fail.  I almost squeaked by on this one.  Last year’s reading list consisted of:

52 Loaves: One Man’s Relentless Pursuit of Truth, Meaning, and a Perfect Crust (William Alexander)

War (Sebastian Junger)

The Toughest Show on Earth.  My Rise and Reign at the Metropolitan Opera (Joseph Volpe)

Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers (Mary Roach)

Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void (Mary Roach)

The Best Laid Plans (Terry Fallis)

A Game of Thrones (George R.R. Martin)

A Clash of Kings (George R.R. Martin)

A Storm of Swords (George R.R. Martin)

A Feast for Crows (George R.R. Martin)

In my defence, those Game of Thrones books are long – each one is like reading three normal books. If I had chosen to read something more concise and less maddeningly expansive, I would have easily reached one of my five goals for the year.

On the plus side, my failure to achieve any of my goals for 2011 means I don’t have to waste much time coming up with new goals for 2012.  I’m simply going to recycle last year’s list and see if I can improve on my dismal performance.

There is one new goal to add to the list.  This is the year I turn 40.  When I turned 39, I decided I should greet the next decade in the best shape of my life.  I figured this shouldn’t be that hard, as I’ve never really been in shape to begin with.  Of course, nearly five months have gone by and I’ve ridden the exercise bike a total of three times, so I’m off to a good start.

Morning came much too early, as it always does on Christmas Day.  We managed to delay the inevitable rush to the presents by about half an hour, but eventually we ran out of negotiating ploys and capitulated.

The boys seemed happy with their matching Sens jersey. They also got tickets to the Sens game on January 8th – it will be a nice way to celebrate the last day of Christmas vacation.

K showing off the snowman he got from his brother, courtesy of the school’s Christmas shop.

B and the boys working on a 1,000-piece puzzle (this scene of familial bliss lasted about 4 minutes in total before A & K went off to play with Lego).

It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of turkey dinners.  However, I tried something new this year and roasted it in the Big Green Egg.  The verdict?  Blah.

K and I went for a walk with his favourite gift, a penguin pillow pet.  Midway through our trek to the RCMP stables he took a break to have a nap on a snowbank (yes, we had a white Christmas after all).

Coal spent most of the day sleeping on the couch.  It’s probably wishful thinking that the boys would follow his example one of these days.

The day ended with a bit of Beatles Rockband.  I visited 22 different stores trying to find a second guitar controller for the Wii (including a depressing visit to a pawn shop on Christmas Eve) but came up empty.  If you come across one of these relics from the Guitar Hero craze of 2008, give me a shout.

So, with just 13 days until Christmas, I thought I’d share this year’s list.  It’s an interesting mix of items that includes a few surprises.

crismas list:

1.  3DS™ [Note:  yes, he really wrote in the ™ symbol.  Advertising works, folks]

2.  lego™

3.  atlantis portal

4.  stuffed animal

5.  snivy that transforms into a pokéball

6.  pokémon cards

7.  pokémon black version 3ds game

8.  trasportable beyblade sadyum

9.  beyblade dragoon

10.  beyblade clocwise

11.  venus fly trap

12.  pet shrimp

13.  new baseball bat

14.  NEW PET KITEN!  (I relly, relly, relly, relly, relly, relly, relly, relly, relly, relly, relly want one!!!!!!

I was having one of those mornings recently, and to top it off, neither of the boys was listening to a word I said.  I finally snapped and launched into a fairly heated lecture about respect and paying attention, complete with, “Wipe that smile off your face!” and, “Look at me when I’m talking to you!”

A went upstairs, head bowed, and I could hear him crying in his room.  After a few minutes passed, I went up and apologized for losing my temper.  He muttered, “It’s O.K.” and went back to his room.  He came back a few minutes later and handed me the following letter:

to:  Mom and dad
From:  A

dear mom and dad,

I love you both very much and I exept your apology dad.  I hope we can make up to each other by you walking me to my door.  That way we will be able to co-oporate together and set things right.

Sencierly,

A

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

And suddenly my day was a bit brighter…